It’s #WorldCancerDay. A day of remembering, of giving, and for me a day of prayer. I don’t talk a lot publicly about my cancer struggles, or my health.
Truthfully, it’s not a comfortable subject for me. There are things I’m still working through.
But now, here in this little corner of the web, I’ll be examining it more closely, examining myself, my journey, and really looking at how illness changed me, how it changed my view on health, and what it means to truly Live.
Does what we go through matter?
Do we even matter?
The obvious answer would appear to be: YES, OF COURSE!
But do I really believe that? Do I live my life like that? Do I see other people through that lens on a daily basis?
It’s been a rough/exciting/crazy/terrifying/confusing year. And I’ve been asking myself these questions through it all.
In December 2018 I was living in the fog, just going through the motions, stressing about useless stuff. And then I got a punch to the gut as the doctor said the word that every cancer survivor dreads:
That single word started me on this new weird path of healing, both inside and out. And I’m still not done. I’m not going to be able to say today: “Hurrah, the tumor’s gone!” and then tell you how I found The Cure for all that ails me (though, I do love that band). Because the bastard’s still there, tucked inside my liver with two tiny friends. I can feel it even as I type this. It’s beyond strange.
But I was healed this year. From so many other things, physical and mental. And I can’t sit here and say, “Well, that’s that!” and move on as if life is the same. As if I’m the same. Because I’m not. And my journey to health is far from over. The last thing I want to do is take it all for granted and find myself in the fog and stress again.
What I’m hoping is that through some of these pages I can hold myself accountable to this new challenge I’ve found myself facing, continuing to grow. Maybe I’ll spark an idea in your head that will help you in your own journey. Or maybe I can be an encouragement—or you’ll get a good laugh, realizing how crazy I am, therefore feeling so much better about your own mental health. 🙂
And so, it begins.
Past is prologue. Every story circles back to the beginning. Here’s a peek at mine.
- My Story: Deciding to Live
- My Story: Choosing Laughter
- My Story: Stumbling Into Healing
* There will be more links added here as I write them.